0 January Secret Agent #38

TITLE: JUST MY LUCK
GENRE: Romantic Comedy

“Are you sexually active, Stacy?”

The voice came from between my thighs. My feet rested on hard plastic stirrups and my a** hung halfway off the hard table.

“Wow, Dr. Thomas, what an ice breaker,” I said, raising my head slightly and catching a glimpse of the crown of her head.

She looked up. “It’s my job as your doctor to make sure you’re using protection.”

Protection…as if I had a need for protection. That cave hadn’t been explored in over two years and with no spelunkers on the horizon, protection was the last thing on my mind.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a while.” My head fell back onto the crunchy, paper-encased pillow and I gazed at the ceiling while she finished her exam.

She pushed back on the rolling stool and disposed of her gloves. “You can get dressed now. You should be receiving a postcard in the mail in a couple of weeks. If anything shows up as abnormal, we’ll have you come back.”

I scooted my bootie up on the table and pulled my feet out of the stirrups. “Thanks, Dr. Thomas.”

“You’re welcome, Stacy. Be careful out there.” She opened the door to the exam room and whooshed out into the hall.

How depressing. Now even my gynecologist knew I wasn’t seeing any action. Ever since The Dumping, I’d been licking my wounds, hiding out in my apartment and avoiding anything and everything that sported a penis.