0 January Secret Agent #14

TITLE: YOU HAVE HIS EYES
GENRE: Contemporary YA

Monday, June 7

I wonder what it would feel like to pluck out my eye. It’s got to be pretty simple. I’d just have to wedge this pen far enough into my eye socket to pry the eye out. There would be a lot of suction, I’m sure. Something behind it would have to rip.

It wouldn’t accomplish anything. I know that. And I’m sure it would hurt like hell. It’s just easier to think about using my pen for that than writing this.

But I don’t have a choice. I mean, that’s why I picked up the pen in the first place. To tell you this.

I’m pregnant. With you.

No one with any medical knowledge has confirmed it yet. But I doubt seven tests of two different brands can be wrong. I’m in my room now, but they’re still beside me. On my desk. Piled like a stack of unused pens from the school year. I’ll have to throw them away tomorrow in the dumpster behind the coffee shop where I work so my parents don’t find them.

I’m supposed to be celebrating the end of junior year, not taking pregnancy tests. Not being pregnant.

I can’t be pregnant. If being late to the dinner table is unacceptable, I don’t know what my parents would call this.

All I know is you’re inside of me. Maybe just the size of a pea. But you’re inside of me.

And I don’t know what to do with you.